


They Clipped His Wings (And He Fell Broken To The Ground)

by MissjuliaMiriam



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Deathfic, Everything Hurts, M/M, Mourning, Paralyzation, Suicide, apparently i exist to destroy everything you love, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-14
Updated: 2012-07-14
Packaged: 2017-11-09 22:33:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/459222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissjuliaMiriam/pseuds/MissjuliaMiriam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick Grayson doesn't fall, but when he does, he falls hard. This time, he doesn't get up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Clipped His Wings (And He Fell Broken To The Ground)

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: DICK DIES. I AM SORRY. THIS IS NOT IN ANY WAY A HAPPY FIC.

It's a pretty normal night, with Dick listening over the comm as Tim beats up a few muggers over in Gotham, while he himself races over the rooftops of Bludhaven, looking for trouble. Tim's doing okay, chatting with Dick when he's not fighting, silent but for soft breaths and grunts of effort when he is.

Then he comes across a group of gunmen, and Dick says, “You need an assist?”

Tim hums and says, “Nah, you're too far off, I can deal with this no problem.”

Dick nods and listens while Tim fights, imagining the scene in his head. Everything's going great, he thinks-

A gunshot echos in Dick's ear, and he falters for a split second as he starts his next jump, calling Tim's name into the comm.

“I'm okay, he missed,” mutters Tim, but it's just a bit too late, because Dick's foot has caught on the edge of the roof and he's falling.

Before he can turn and catch himself, his head cracks against the side of the roof opposite, and he can't think. Can't breathe. He tumbles loosely through the air, down into the alley below, not a controlled free fall but an uncontrolled drop. Dazed, scattered thoughts whip through Dick's mind, and he knows what this is. He thinks maybe he can hear his bones break as he hits the ground. The comm crackles, Tim's voice in his ear, but he sounds like he's standing at the end of a tunnel. Dick isn't sure what Tim's saying, only that everything hurts.

Then darkness takes over, and nothing hurts at all.

 

When Dick opens his eyes, the pain hasn't returned, and it's very white where ever he is. Off to the side he can hear someone arguing, and then he recognizes one of the voices as Bruce's. Dick's not sure what he's saying, but he sounds quite obviously upset, which is unusual.

Dick groans softly and opens his eyes to see Bruce whirl around and stride over to Dick. There's a doctor standing behind him, a man, probably who Bruce was arguing with.

Dick smiles. “How's it going?”

Bruce just looks at him. “How are you feeling?” he asks, and Dick knows that when Bruce is answering a question with a question that something is wrong. Usually he just doesn't answer.

“I'm okay,” Dick says. “No pain at all. See?”

And then he tries to lift and hand and waves at Bruce, and it doesn't work. “Oh,” he says. “Uh.”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” the doctor says, coming over, “but I think I should tell you now rather than later. The fall you took fractured part of your spine, paralyzing you from the neck down. The nerves were severed, it's inoperable without killing you. I'm sorry, but you'll never walk again.”

“Oh,” says Dick again, in a small voice. Bruce lays a hand on his shoulder, but he can't really feel it. “That. Okay. Can I have a minute?”

The doctor nods. “Of course. I'll be back later to discuss options with you.” Then he leaves, and it's just Dick and Bruce in the room.

“Dick, I'm so sorry-” Bruce begins, but Dick cuts him off.

“It's not anything to do with you. I was in Bludhaven, and if the doctor says they can't fix it that's not going to change no matter how much money you throw at it. Don't apologize.”

Bruce shakes his head. “You shouldn't be trying to comfort me when it's you who's...”

“My life is over, Bruce,” Dick says, and smiles wryly. “I recognize that, but I'm not the only one who has to come to terms with it.”

Dick tries to wiggle his toes. It doesn't work, and he's not sure whether he feels better for trying or worse for failing. Meanwhile, Bruce is registering what Dick has just said, then he growls “No.”

He stalks out of the room like someone is chasing him, and Dick has to laugh a little at the irony of that, because the only one at Bruce's back is a man who'll never walk again.

 

The first person to come visit is Babs, and when she arrives she says, “Well, think of it this way. You'll never take another fall!”

Dick smiles at her fondly and says, “You never were very funny.”

That sobers her, and she says, “How are you doing?”

“As well as can be expected, I suppose. How long have I been out?”

“A few days,” she replies. “I'm surprised Bruce didn't tell you that. What did you do?” Her tone is suspicious, but Dick thinks he probably deserves it.

“I may have said something I shouldn't have,” he says, and her eyes narrow.

“What are you planning?”

“Nothing.” He sounds completely innocent, but he always does.

She just sighs. “I think I understand, though I wish it was different. I'm managing, aren't I?” She gestures to her wheelchair, which kind of illustrates the point he's about to make.

“You have your arms,” he says, “and you're not me, Babs. I am sorry, you know, but...”

“I know. I know you just as well as you do, I think. We all do, it's part of being your family.” She sighs, and it's very sad. “Bruce will try to stop you.”

“It's not his choice,” Dick asserts.

“Damian?”

“I think so,” Dick says. “I hate to do it to him, but no one else would.”

“Jason would,” Babs says, and she reaches up to stroke Dick's face. “I love you, you know. So does everyone else.”

“I love you too,” he says. “But like this, there's just... nothing left, for me. And it would be far more cruel of a thing to do to Jason, I think, because he has no one to help him once it's done. Damian has Bruce, and Steph, and all the rest of you.” Jason has no one, and to do what needs to be done would be the end of him. Dick knows that. Many probably think that Jason is already gone, but he's not, not yet at least, and this would kill him just as surely as a bullet would, even if his heart would continue beating. Damian is the better option, because for all that Bruce can be a terrible father, at least he will be able to hold Damian together through this.

“He does,” Babs agrees, and then sighs again. “I don't think I'll be back for awhile.”

“It would only hurt you,” Dick says. “I'll see you later.”

“Yeah. Later.” Then she rolls out of the hospital room, and Dick hopes that the rest will be so easy.

 

The next one to visit is Tim. Dick has never been so happy to see anyone in his life, because the last thing he remembered was someone trying to shoot Tim, and that would have been horrible.

Tim doesn't look at all happy to see Dick, however, and his eyes are red from crying. He hovers at the door, watching, for a long moment before Dick says, “I'm glad you're okay.”

“Of course I'm okay,” Tim whispers. “I'm always okay. But you're not.”

Dick laughs. “I'm just fine, Timmy. Don't you worry about me.”

Tim looks unsure, and for a moment Dick thinks that he's going to ask Dick to promise that he'll be fine. But Tim knows as well as Dick does that any promise Dick could make would be a lie. So he lets them both pretend. “Alright,” he says, and nods. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be sorry. Everything will be okay, you'll see. It'll just take a while.” Dick hopes that none of his sadness is soaking through into his voice, because right now what Tim needs is for Dick to lie to him, tell him that it'll all be okay, and maybe make himself believe it. His genius mind may tell him otherwise, may know that Dick is a liar, but his heart couldn't take it if he acknowledged the fact.

So he nods and says, “I really am sorry,” then walks out of the room.

Once he's gone, Dick whispers, “I'm sorry too.” Dick hopes that Tim doesn't come back, because it would break them both.

 

When Damian comes, Bruce comes with him. That doesn't surprise Dick at all, because Bruce knows Dick pretty damn well, and Bruce knows exactly how he's going to do it.

Damian doesn't really say anything, he just kind of sits with Dick, and Bruce watches him. Eventually Damian has been sitting there for too long, and he gets up and stretches. Before he leaves, Dick says, “Come see me again?”

Damian looks at Dick and he understands that Dick means that he should come alone. Dick thinks that maybe Damian understands what's happening here too, and he'll act accordingly.

“Of course, Grayson,” Damian says, and he chokes only the tiniest bit on Dick's name.

Then Bruce ushers the boy out of the room, and everything around Dick goes quiet again, except for his thoughts, which are a hive of bees, stinging at the inside of his head.

 

Steph and Cass come together as well, and it's probably the right choice. Cass is silent, leaning against the wall. Dick was never as close with her, but he also thinks that maybe no one is really close with her. “How're you holding up?” Steph says, and there's still just a bit of her normal sunshine in her voice. Dick hopes she'll be okay.

“I'm good,” he says, and it's not honest. That makes him feel guilty, because he doesn't want to lie to her now of all times. “Well,” he corrects, “I'm okay. I've been better.”

“Yeah, well,” she says, and her voice is a bit choked now.

“Steph?” Dick says.

“Yeah?”

“Smile for me?” he says, and she tries her very hardest, but it's wobbly and her eyes are tearing up. It's still one of the brightest smiles he's ever seen.

Steph brings the sunshine into all of their lives. He hopes she never stops, because the last thing the Bat and his family need is more darkness. Steph is good for them in that way.

“Keep it up,” he says, and he wishes he could lift a hand to pat her cheek and hold her close. He thinks they probably both need it.

Tears roll down Steph's face, and Cass comes up form behind her to put hands on her shaking shoulders and guide her gently from the room. Steph is crying in earnest when they reach the door, and just before they go out, Cass turns and meets his eyes for a long second, then mouths, “Goodbye.”

Dick wonders if everyone knows, and why he thought he'd be able to keep it from any of them.

 

There was really only one other person yet to visit, and Dick couldn't help but wonder if he'd come at all. He's be upset, and probably angry, and maybe he wouldn't want to see Dick. Maybe he'd just hang back, for the first time in his life, and wait it out. It was a painful idea, but maybe it was for the best, that Dick's best friend didn't see him like this, so close to the end.

But Wally comes.

He walks through the door at a normal pace and comes to stand by Dick's bedside, and for a long moment they just watch each other. Dick isn't sure what Wally's reaction is going to be, just that Wally knows him well enough to know what's going to happen.

“You know,” Wally finally says, “you're a selfish bastard and I should be angry at you.”

“Why aren't you?” Dick asks, frowning.

“Because I don't want arguing to be the last thing we do with each other.” Wally sighs and slumps down into a chair beside the bed, and lets his head rest against the mattress. Dick watches him and thinks that maybe this is the guiltiest he's ever felt. He regrets this a lot, and maybe if he regretted it just a little more it would change his mind. But he doesn't regret it enough that not doing it would make him feel better about his situation.

“I am sorry, you know,” he says.

Wally nods and looks up at him. “So am I. For everything I never got to say to you, to do with you, all those years that we wasted pretending that nothing bad would ever happen, rather than making the best of it.”

“Wally...” Dick tries to swallow the lump in his throat, but it doesn't really work.

“You know I love you, right?”

The question is startling, it is an honest surprise that Wally even has to ask. “Of course. I love you too, Wally.”

“I'm glad...” Wally pauses, and looks down again. “I'm glad you know. I'm glad that we're okay, like, our relationship.”

“We're always okay,” Dick says, and he tries to smile, but it's unsteady and he can feels tears gathering in his eyes. “Look after the team, and everyone else.”

“They won't understand.”

“No, but you do, and that's all I really need.”

By now, there are tears on Dick's cheeks, just a few, but enough. “Wally, I'm sorry,” he chokes out.

Wally smiles, sad and slow. “I'm really not the one you should be apologizing too. You've never wronged me, you've always been my friend.”

“But I'm hurting you.”

“You're hurting everyone else, too.”

Dick chokes and closes his eyes. He feels gentle fingers brushing away his tears, and then Wally presses a soft kiss to his lips. Dick opens his eyes and blinks up at Wally once he draws back.

“What...?” he murmurs, and Wally smiles at him again.

“I love you, you doofus. And I'm going to miss you.”

“Another?” Dick asks quietly, and Wally obliges, kisses him again, and Dick realizes that yes, they have wasted time. Who knows what could have happened if only they had worked this out years ago.

“I love you too, Wally,” he says, earnest, like he's not sure Wally believes him. Considering what he's doing, he supposes Wally doesn't really have a reason to believe him. Because he's just found this, and now Dick is leaving.

“I know,” says Wally. “I really do know.” He kisses Dick one last time, holds there for a long second, then they part with a soft sigh and a silent whimper. Dick thinks that that particular type of hushed sound is the sound a heart makes when it is breaking.

“I'll see you later.” In the next instant, Wally is gone.

 

There's no one left to come, really. So it makes sense that Damian comes that night, sneaks in through the window, silent as anything and wearing his Robin costume. His hood is up, but when he pulls it down he's not wearing his mask. Dick is still awake, and he offers Damian a smile when he enters.

“Hey, Dami,” Dick says, quietly.

“Don't call me that,” Damian says, but it's half-hearted at best. He reaches into the pouch he has attached to his belt and pulls out a tiny bottle of clear fluid and a needle.

“Is that...” Dick trails off.

“Poison. Quick, painless, silent. It'll be just like falling asleep.” Damian walks across the room to where Dick's IV drip is set up, and then sets the bottle down on the bedside table. He takes the cap off of the syringe, then Dick says, “Wait.”

“Second thoughts?” Damian asks, and Dick thinks that he looks a bit hopeful.

“No,” Dick says. “But I have a few things to say to you first.”

“So do I, I suppose,” says Damian. “Drake will blame himself. Father will probably blame me. Wallace will blame you. Everyone will find someone to blame.”

“And you'll blame me, will you?”

“Tt, of course. Who else would I blame?” Damian snorts, and they both know that he's lying through his teeth, and both are aware that the knowledge is mutual.

“Not now,” Dick says.

Damian bows his head. “Sorry,” he mutters, and puts the syringe down.

“Damian, I love you, and I'm sorry that I'm making you do this.”

“You're not making me do anything,” the younger boy snaps.

“Yes I am. And you know it.” Dick sighs. “You're my little brother, and I love you. This isn't going to be easy on you.”

“It won't be easy on the rest, either,” Damian sits down in the chair next to the bed, lets his head rest in his hands. It's the first time Dick has seen Damian let his guard down around anyone.

“Sure, but you're the one pressing the button, so to speak.”

“None of the others would have done it.”

“Doesn't matter.”

“Gra- Dick. My mother trained me to be a-”

Dick cuts him off. “You're not a killer. You are _not_ a killer. I love you, and you are helping me. If I could do it myself I would.”

“As you say,” says Damian, and Dick can tell that Dami doesn't believe him.

“Look after yourself, Dami,” he says. “I love you. Don't let Bruce blame you, don't blame yourself, and look after all of them. They're your family too. But don't take bullets for them, never do that, because we all love you too much to watch you fall for us, and besides,” he chuckles a bit. “Taking bullets for you guys was my job.”

Damian's head snaps up, then he leaps from the seat. Dick can barely see in the moonlight, but he thinks maybe there are tears in Damian's eyes. As Damian prepares the needle, taking liquid in and tapping air out, Dick whispers, “It'll be okay.”

Damian presses the syringe into the IV bag and compresses the plunger, letting the poison drip into Dick's blood.

It takes about five minutes for Dick to begin to feel the effects, and it does feel like falling asleep. A slow creeping darkness catches ahold of his mind and drags him under, and he says, as best he can with a tongue that feels a bit too heavy for speech, “I love you. I'm sorry.”

From somewhere far away, he hears Damian's voice respond, “I love you too, big brother. Sleep well.”

As he slips away for the last time, all Dick can think is that he hopes that they'll be okay without him.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are welcome as always!


End file.
